APATHY AND OTHER SMALL OTHER SMALL VICTORIES by Paul Neilan

Despite the fact that I'm a cynical, depressing person, I love comedy in all its forms. From stand-up to film, if it's funny I want to get my hands on it. It should come as no surprise that - given my cynical and depressing ways - I find dark humor to be the best. So the cover of Paul Neilan's Apathy and Other Small Victories, featuring a figure (usually found on rooms distinguishing which sex the bathroom has been suited for) shooting himself in the head drew me in, and I began reading in the store.

The novel follows the path of Shane, a slacker who makes no effort to be anything else, as he recounts recent occurrences in his life. We are introduced to all sorts of freaks that Shane encounters, including a luckless dentist and his deaf assistant, a crazy woman who is also a brutal sex partner, and an office filled with several types of insane.

All of these events are loosely held together by a criminal investigation Shane is under after the deaf dentist's assistant - Marlene - is murdered. Taken as a whole, the plot is really an assortment of brief events in this man's life, with some of the threads building on each other, but most just coming to stage for a short, hilarious moment, and then disappearing forever.

Shane's attitude fits the title of the novel, as he is almost utterly indifferent to everybody in the novel - often even himself. He does, however, show Mercy to Marlene after her rendition of "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield, which leads him to reflect on his nature:

I have always though of people as punch lines. I laugh at everyone, all the time. I laugh when they fall down, no matter how old they are, even if they break their hip and they're my grandmother. Jesus my mom was fucking pissed.

For the most part, this is the kind of humor you're going to be getting as a reader. It is dry and cruel and insulting, and it often made me cry from laughing. While reading, there were several times when I put the book down for several minutes to cackle until I started freaking everybody on the bus out.

This book is short, and definitely one that can be read in one sitting. Neilan does a great job of moving from topic to topic and person to person, presenting each situation is short scenes that fly by, so that it takes a moment to realize you've just read about an office, Greyhound busses, sex, and then an encounter with a nonsense-spewing drug-and-fireworks-dealer who has a guinea pig for his sex slave.

Despite some of the broader moments of comedy (like meeting Mobo, the dealer mentioned above), the best moments of the book tend to be witty - and vivid - descriptions, which really set this book apart, such as this one (after a particularly weak greeting given at Shane's new job):

I tried to fake a smile but all I could do was wince and grit my teeth and groan a hello that sounded like Ed McMahon after a massive stroke.

Apathy and Other Small Victories is a hilarious debut from Paul Neilan, an author whose future work will definitely be eagerly read by me. This novel packs several laughs per paragraph, and is highly recommended to anybody who wants to laugh and isn't timid about how that desire can be met.

Grade: 9/10